Ibiza July 2017
I guess I’ll go a long way for a few days of sunlight. Six-seven hours of transportation for a two-and-a-half-day vacation, visiting a fellow travel-buddy. I saw the idyllic part of this party-island, staying at a local family’s rent-out hut, seeing the place my friend has made for himself. Or had. A traveler seem to always be on the move, whether that being in the road or in spirit. He has already moved along, ready for the next adventure. I seem to be getting nowhere but still, I’ve gotten further these past few years than I’ve ever gone before – in spirit, that is. I guess the party-side of blue Ibiza is the exact opposite of the state of mind, I’ve found that I’m most comfortable in. Still, the raw nature in bright daylight is the perfect scenery to just be in the moment.
I chase this tingling feeling of completion: Pins in my map, the writing of my book. All the while I’m wondering if my different personas can actually be combined: Can the dreamer in me achieve satisfaction in living in the real world? Can my realistic parts participate in my ever-going dream world?
What should I pursue: The words that tingles and gives me power or the exploration of a world that maybe – maybe not – is trying to tell me something? I’m pretty sure that I can somehow combine these two elements, that the satisfaction and surprises of the world can keep my inner fire in ave to let the words float. I’m sure that the simple streets of Ibiza town can creaste images in my mind that will last a lifetime and be a friend throughout life. That is, I hope, my strenght: That I am in more than one world and I love in more than one world. It’s overwhelming but necessary. Hope and belief is what gets me through life – tougher today than the day before. Often, that is a good thing. Right now, I’m spending all of my energy making it a good thing.
Oh and how every travel always is worth every hour on the road. Sure, the lonely plane-travels can be lonesome and slow, frustrating and uncomfortable. But I find please in simple doings – like contemplating a difficult piece of writing in my Murakami-book or gazing upon the local candy and magazines. All the while you are aware that something new and exciting are about to happen to you. Adventure comes in every package and you can train every cell to participate in the joy of it all.
The brain is a nifty thing.
With the risk of sounding like a cliché (there are lovely clichés out there), I find that a cold drink in the middle of the afternoon on a hot day is one of those moments that makes you happy. It makes you happy for a reason: The fancy bean bag chair in the middle of a steep street, different and eye-catching. The uncomfortable yet comfortable position you get yourself positioned in, trying to relax and get a cold sip of your drink at the same time. Forgetting all about the worries you always have – maybe life isn’t so bad after all.
You know these realizations that sometimes strike you, like a gentle lightning from above? Like how you have to accept that there are good and bad days for photography. Bad days: The sun is high on the sky, no clouds to give cover. It creates shadows, hard light, problems for at photographer, really. And then there are times after that when you realize, how stupid it is to try and outsmart the power of the sun. Like insisting that Photoshop can take care of everything. it can’t. And – another great realization – is how unbelievably amazing it is to accept that there are things you cannot control. It takes of the pressure from inside of you, from that annoyingly nifty thing called your brain.
I write this post almost laughing at myself from the inside. Not because what I’m doing is stupid, no: But because I’ve been here before. Building something, playing with words, juggling with images. Dreaming and thinking, never truly satisfied. And I’m wondering: Will I ever be satisfied? Will these words get to remain, or are they a distraction from something much greater, much more signifcant? All I know is: Travel keeps my fire lit. Being bombarded with images and impressions every day makes me who I am – maybe I should stop wondering why that is. I want to embrace this new world of technology, Facebook and Instagram – but I hate it to the very core. And I love it. Possibilites and restrictions all in one. Maybe I’m born in the wrong period of time. Maybe I should stop worrying about it.
Maybe I should just write more and more like this, pouring everything out. At the end of the day it benefits myself – I can’t quite explain why. It just does. It clear things up, it makes me happy when I create things. Even if it’s just for me. In the end, no one knows me like I do anyway.
What can we all learn from this? Well, it’s quite simple: Travel, think and write more. Take photographs and dream. Life is still fun and these are all my favorite things.